I had to.

As a biracial kid in a predominantly white environment, I was constantly answering the question, “What are you?” Being a bookworm, I turned to texts like The Color of Wealth at fourteen years old. My formative memories of being asked to categorize myself based on others’ inability to identify my ancestry led me to Africana Studies and racial justice organizing. By studying history, I understood that “If Black women were free, it would mean that everyone else would have to be free, since our freedom would necessitate the destruction of all systems of oppression” (Combahee River Collective).

Like many high-performing Asian kids, my mental health challenges went undetected. During my first year of undergrad, centuries of intergenerational trauma erupted within me. My and my ancestors’ grief and rage overflowed through my soma. I dropped out of college and went no-contact with my family of origin.

Desperate to remedy the ache in my bones and spirit, I sought out the ancient mysteries of my paternal lineage in rural Taiwan. My astrological birth chart clearly shows that my life path is about ancestral reconnection and healing, and I’ve gone about it with varying degrees of skill and care. At twenty years old, I was newly aware of myself as a queer and non-binary person. The culture clash between a US-raised gender and sexual minority with Taiwanese religious structures was intense.

Long story short, I left Taiwan deeply traumatized and full of shame. The weight of generational pain was so unbearable that I couldn’t sleep through the night. As a college dropout, I struggled to meet my basic needs for food and shelter. Ifá, Thien Hau Temple, and recovery communities carried me to the point of re-applying to college in 2015.

At Brown, I was blessed to learn closely from the brilliant Dr. Keisha-Khan Y. Perry (my advisor), Professor Elmo Terry-Morgan, and the late great Professor Anani Dzidzienyo. Along with rest of the incredible Africana Studies faculty, they trained me in critical Black Studies knowledge and methods. This helped me understand the current world system and learn from the best practices of freedom fighters across time.

With an undergraduate degree, I was then able to begin Chinese medical studies at Yo San University. Along with my Daoist healing training through the College of Tao and Parting Clouds Daoist education, I have been filling my toolbox with medical and energetic strategies to address the embodied and spiritual trauma of systemic oppression.

I have lived the truth that ancestral healing can unlock purpose and joy even in the most painful, tragic ancestral histories.

One tenet of ancestral healing is acceptance that the past cannot be changed, but we can transform our lives by changing how we relate to that past. I can’t change the years I and my ancestors lost to hurting ourselves and others. I can’t undo the mistakes I’ve made on my ancestral healing path. Yet by sharing the lessons I’ve gained from all of the above, I can help others avoid my errors.

One of my primary spiritual protectors is Mazu, goddess of the South China Sea. She famously guides boats to safety in rough waters. As someone who almost drowned in my ancestral trauma, I am a navigator familiar with these seas.

Theoretical rigor: Africana critical thought is the foundation. The macroeconomic, ontological, and socio-historical structures of the past millennium systematically cause intergenerational trauma. Everything I do stems from this reality.

Indigenous healing methods: I draw from my training in the 5,000+ year-old medical traditions of China to address the spiritual and somatic effects of systemic intergenerational trauma. I do not mix-and-match between a grab-bag of decontextualized New Age modalities. I am in ongoing reciprocal relationships with living lineage bearers who are themselves descendants of unbroken medicine families. I am accountable to them directly.

Biomedical integration: I draw upon my hundreds of hours of graduate training in biomedicine, never pretending that energy alone can solve a problem. I share resources for navigating the Western medical system, and taking advantage of its strengths, while also protecting oneself from its systemic failures.